I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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