if i can run in heels then i can drive
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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