i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize