I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
