Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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