PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
