What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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