I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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