Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
