I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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