someone threw a dead crab at me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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