Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i was born a porn star she said
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize