ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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