Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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