would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
