At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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