I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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