The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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