honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
