like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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