hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I hate all girls vehemently.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
