Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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