Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The ass gains better be worth it
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