Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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