Joe is yelling at the trees again.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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