Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize