"it" just moved
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
