He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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