Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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