Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
