we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
