i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize