you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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