its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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