i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
