K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
