There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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