Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
