I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
