Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
