Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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