I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
