..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
