I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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