HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
