Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
