I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
