There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
