i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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