he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
