Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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