Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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