She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
