hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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