It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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