the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You were trust falling into bushes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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