this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
