Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
