Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
