I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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