I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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