I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
