dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
