make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
