no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
