In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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